Someone described my life over the last few years as sounding like a tragic love story. My wife, of nearly 20 years, dies in hospital. I meet up with an old friend, whom I've known for nearly as long. We get together, She gets a divorce comes to England with her two children and we get married and live happily ever after.
Sounds nice, doesn't it? My family love them and love to see me happy again.
So why the tragic part you ask? I was once told that friends are the family you choose for yourself, and I agree with that. I don't have many friends, but those I do I love like family.
My wife, although in a new country, has friends back in her home country and (with the technology called Skype) can talk and see them whenever she likes. Knowing how people can gossip, she (and her ex-husband) decided they would not announce everything, they would let the information about the divorce/wedding filter down the grapevine.
Now, for some reason, known only to themselves, some friends are feeling a bit upset that they are not being involved in every decision that is happening in our lives here and are blanking her and her ex-husband.
And my comment to this is 'GROW UP!!'. Were you only friends with them because they were married or because you liked them? Did you only like them because they were married or do you like them as people and what they bring, in whatever small capacity, to enrich your lives?
What has changed? They are now 2 separate people, but they are still the same people that you were friends with all this time. So they didn't ask your permission to get on with their lives, so get over it and call/SMS/email, a conversation takes 2 people.
Remember, they are the family that you chose...
No comments:
Post a Comment